


Ravenlocks and the Three Malfoys

by Pie (potteresque_ire)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fairy Tale Parody, Humor, M/M, Multi, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-22
Updated: 2009-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-10 19:29:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13508259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potteresque_ire/pseuds/Pie
Summary: A very, very minor rewrite of The Three Bears (which would become Goldilocks and the Three Bears), based on the original text by Robert Suthey that can be foundhere.





	Ravenlocks and the Three Malfoys

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2009, originally posted under a f-lock on LiveJournal due to the shameless nature of this ficlet. :P

Once upon a time there were three Malfoys who lived together in a splendid manor in Wiltshire. One of them was Scorpius, who was little only in his age and one was Draco, who had a middle-scale Kinsey score and the other was Lucius, who was and had a great arsehole. They had each an item of seduction; a little pink g-string for Scorpius, a pair of mid-waist, tight-fitted leather trousers for Draco, and a great, long pimp cane for Lucius. And they had each a dildo to sit on; a little one for Scorpius, and a middle one for Draco and a great one for Lucius. And they had each a bed to sleep in (not that they used it much at all); a little waterbed for Scorpius, and a mid-sized four-poster for Draco, and a great dungeon for Lucius.  
  
One day, after they had their daily discussion on hair products during breakfast and had poured them onto their silverblond, gleam-in-the-sun hair, they Apparated to Gringott’s to count their Galleons, that they might not go bankrupt with their nightly dose of whitening potions for their smooth, porcelain skin. And while they were counting, a young war hero came to the manor. He could not have been a good, honest man; for he was almost sorted into Slytherin after all. The ward not strong, because the Malfoys were former Death Eaters who did everybody harm, and never suspected that anybody would want to come near them. So the young war hero walked past the perfect lawns and handsome peacocks and went in; and horny he was when he saw the items of seduction on the table. If he had been a good war hero, he would have waited till the Malfoys came home, and then, perhaps, they would have asked him to have sex with them; for they were infamous bedmates—a little rough or so, as the manner of Malfoys is, but for all that very drool-worthy and irresistible. But he was an impudent, naughty war hero, and set about helping himself.  
  
So first he frotted against the great pimp cane of Lucius, and that was too hard for him; and he said a bad word about that. And then he tried on the mid-waist leather trousers of Draco, and that was too large for him; and he said a bad word about that too. And then he picked up the little g-string of Scorpius and examined that; and that was soft, absolutely tiny, and just right; and he liked it so well his cock stood up: but the naughty war hero said a bad word about the curve on the front pouch, because its supposed content he might not be able to hold enough.  
  
Then our sex-starved war hero found and sat down on the great dildo of Lucius, and … ouch. And then he sank upon the mid-sized, twirling dildo of Draco, and that was too … willowy. And he thrust himself down against the little dildo of Scorpius, and that was so small and so warm, the hero’s cock would be a substitute so tight. So he seated himself on it and there he sat, dreaming of his perfect bottom and came, his seed running down his thighs and upon the ground. And the naughty war hero screamed a wicked word about that too.  
  
Then the young war hero went into the bed-chamber in which the Malfoys slept. And first he went to the great dungeon of Lucius; but the whips and canes were too much for him. And he lay down upon four-poster of Draco; and the bedding was too green for him. And then he lay down upon the little waterbed of Scorpius; and that was ….  _oooooooooooooh, just right_. So he spelled his clothes off, wanked himself to exhaustion, and soon he fell fast asleep.  
  
By this time the Malfoys had tallied their vaults of coins multiple times enough; so they came home to resume their depraved lives. Now the young war hero had had dropped the great pimp cane of Lucius after his frottage.  
  
“Somebody has played with my cane!” said Lucius in his great, rough, gruff voice. And Draco looked at his trousers he saw the creases in them too. They were made of leather; if they had been jeans, the naughty war hero would probably have kept wearing them as he had worn Dudley’s.  
  
“Somebody has worn my leather trousers!" drawled Draco in his middle voice.  
  
Then Scorpius looked for his little g-string, and … it was gone.  
  
"Somebody has seen my g-string and has stolen it!” whispered Scorpius in his little, breathy voice.  
  
Upon this the Malfoys, seeing that someone had entered their manor and stolen Scorpius’ little g-string, began to look about them. Now the young war hero had not wiped off the ample amount of lube when he rose from the great dildo of Lucius.  
  
"Somebody has been sitting on my dildo!" said Lucius in his great, rough, gruff voice.  
  
And the war hero had forgotten to turn off the mid-vibration mode on the willowy dildo of Draco.  
  
"Somebody has been sitting on my dildo!" drawled Draco in his middle voice.  
  
And you know what the young war hero had done with the third dildo.  
  
"Somebody has been sitting on my dildo and come all over it!" gasped Scorpius in his little, breathy voice.  
  
Then the Malfoys thought it necessary that they should make farther search; so they went into their bed-chamber. Now the young war hero had pulled the great leather sling of Lucius out of its place.  
  
"Somebody has been lying in my bed!" said Lucius in his great, rough, gruff voice.  
  
And the young war hero had pulled the Slytherin tie draping over the headboard of Draco’s four-poster out of its place.  
  
"Somebody has been lying in my bed!" drawled Draco in his middle voice.  
  
And when Scorpius came to look at his little waterbed, all was in its place; the pillow was upon the rippling mattress; and upon the pillow was the young war hero’s wild, raven hair—which was not in its place, for he had no business there.  
  
"Somebody has been lying in my bed and here he is!" cooed Scorpius in his little, breathy voice.  
  
The young war hero had heard in his sleep the great, rough, gruff voice of Lucius; but he was so fast asleep that it was no more to him than the roaring of Voldemort or the grumbling of Snape. And he had heard the middle drawl of Draco, but it was only as if he had heard someone speaking in a wetdream. But when he heard the little, breathy voice of Scorpius, it was so silky and so sexy that it awakened his cock at once. Up it bent; and when he saw the three Malfoys on one side of the bed, he tumbled himself out at the other, and ran to the washroom.  
  
Now the shower door was open, because the Malfoys, like other testosterone-driven creatures as they were, always needed their showers urgently even after the morning. Into the shower the young war hero jumped; and whether he ended up with a triple blowjob, or was rammed consecutively in the arse by three cocks, or found his way to a local gay club taking all three of them by the arms for a pervy exhibitionist as he was, I cannot tell. But the Malfoys never let him wear any clothes again.  
  
  
  
_~ Finis._


End file.
